The Religion
What is a better way to honor someone than with a Religion devoted just to them. Since Stephanie and I created a whole country for Abe we decided we needed another way to honor him.
So by putting our brains together we came up with Abraham Lincoln-ism. It's a religion obviously all about Mr. Lincoln. You know how there are Ten Commandments in the Bible, well we came up with our own. But only nine instead.
- You shall put no other president before me.
- Thou shalt celebrate
my birthday on February 12th, on this day you shall rest and not be
productive except in praising me.
- Top hats are now the new national symbol if
you are to join.
- Thou shalt NOT dis Abraham Lincoln in any way, shape, form, or fashion or you will be smitten.
- Thou shalt speak of Abraham Lincoln at least once daily. More is AWESOME.
- Please do not take this religion lightly, it
should be taken seriously in every manner.
- You shall have to learn the
Gettysburg Address in order to participate in our chanting rituals.
- Do not let
people distract you from talking about the awesomeness of Abraham Lincoln.
- And finally you are to spread his teachings throughout the world.
"Four score and seven years ago our fathers brought forth on this continent, a new nation, conceived in Liberty, and dedicated to the proposition that all men are created equal.
Now we are engaged in a great civil war, testing whether that nation, or any nation so conceived and so dedicated, can long endure. We are met on a great battlefield of that war. We have come to dedicate a portion of that field, as a final resting place for those who here gave their lives that that nation might live. It is altogether fitting and proper that we should do this.
But, in a larger sense, we cannot dedicate—we cannot consecrate—we cannot hallow—this ground. The brave men, living and dead, who struggled here, have consecrated it, far above our poor power to add or detract. The world will little note, nor long remember what we say here, but it can never forget what they did here. It is for us the living, rather, to be dedicated here to the unfinished work which they who fought here have thus far so nobly advanced. It is rather for us to be here dedicated to the great task remaining before us—that from these honored dead we take increased devotion to that cause for which they gave the last full measure of devotion—that we here highly resolve that these dead shall not have died in vain—that this nation, under God, shall have a new birth of freedom— and that government of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from the earth."
